Why I Fight

I read a sample of BJ Penns new book titled Why I Fight. It talks about his life from childhood and goes into his professional MMA career. Must say that the sample parts I read were quite interesting. As I was reading I started to think about my life and career. If i was to write a book I might title it Why I Work. People always ask me why I work so much? Or they'll say "why do you put up with all of the traveling? Is it hard to leave your family all the time for work?". When I get asked those questions I always give everybody the same answer. Simply put, I love my job. Some say I'm crazy or I'm a work aholic. Now when I say that I love my job, it doesn't necessarily mean I love my "job" job. I mean I love the fact that I want to provide for my family. To me that is my #1 job. Don't get me wrong, what I get paid to do is fun but at the end of the day I know I can come home and provide a roof and food for my family.

So what drives me to this? It has to be my mom. My mom was the hardest working person that I know. She is now retired and truely deserves the right to relax now. However when she worked she worked! When I was growing from the age of 5 years old all the way till I turned 18, my mom worked 16 hour days. She worked at two jobs as a nursing assistant. For 13 years my mom helped ederly people. This means feeding them, changing their clothes, changing their bed sheets, even lifting them up to get them in the shower. She did this for 13 grueling years to make sure I had a home, clothing and a meal. Keep in mind my mom weighs about 110 pounds and has been disabled since she was a child due to complications with polio. For years she worked this hard. So do you think I have room to complain about work? I sit in a nice office with a desk and I have a computer. I have it easy compared to my mom.

My drive to be the best comes from her also. She always taught me to appreciate any job that I got because it's not easy to find a job that you love. I am fortunate enough to not only have a job, but I have a career. The job I'm at is a job I chose. The job didn't choose me. A lot of people work in jobs today that they are not happy with but they stay because it pays the bills. Why would you want to do that? Be happy where you're at if not then find something else. When you do find that job you're happy with, be the best at it. Never settle for 2nd best.

So to keep it short, that's why I work. That's why I travel. Simply because I love my job and the dreams that I have will come true soon.

Live to learn, then learn how to live

“You have to live and learn, so you can learn how to live”

People are driven by money, fame and status.  What it boils down to is learning.  You should always base your job not by the paycheck you get, but what you learn from your professional experience.  Pay rates can get deducted, promotions can be delayed, bonuses may never come, however nobody can ever take away your education and experience.  You can never be successful if you base everything on money.  You will be rich, but how far can money take you?  Would you rather be ‘rich’ or ‘wealthy’?  Wealth can come in many forms, those include your experience, your knowledge and security.  I know many people that make two times or even three times more than me, but I know they are not the best at what they do or they still complain that there’s never enough money.  Our country was hit by a big financial crisis in the past few years.  Some of those ‘rich’ employees lost their jobs, homes, status and money.  However, the ones that had a good head and had a road map had no issues finding another job and picking up their lives when they fell.  You have to live and learn, what’s the point of life if you never learned how to live?

The Wish Bone, The Back Bone, The Funny Bone

"To be successful in life you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone" - Reba McEntire

Yes another one of my favorite quotes. As you can see, I'm a huge fan of quotes and this has to be one of the truest quotes. Thank you Luis for reminding me about this quote today.

We go through life worrying about things that can over take our lives. I am one of those people. We need to step back and look at the overall big picture and capture the true essence of what life means to us as individuals. Some go through life wanting the mighty green dollar. Some go through life wondering where the next big party is going to be. It's different for everybody. No matter what life means to you, everybody wants to be successful at one point or another. I think having that wish bone, back bone and funny bone allow you to get through life without weighing yourself down on little things that can devastate you or keep you from sleeping.

The Wish Bone: We all must have the ability to dream. Without dreams, we have no goals or aspirations. Randy Pausch's famous lecture talked about following your child hood dreams and trying to strive for those goals. One of my dreams is to be a major league baseball player for the Dodgers. Now I know that I'll never play 3rd base for the Dodgers today, but having that dream allows me to be a better manager. I use the team mate mentality and the team effort style to help manage my employees at work. It also allows me to use that dream to reach goals in my career and life. To me, being a Dodger doesn't mean I have to be on the field, it means being successful, happy and goal orientated. Set goals for yourself. Make a road map on where you want to go and where you want to be. The winds of life always change directions, it's how you set your sails that will get you to that place.

The Back Bone: Nice guys finish last. As a nice guy, I know this is true. You need to nut up sometimes and use your back bone. You need to stand up for your beliefs and don't let others bring you down. If it is something you believe in, something you're passionate about, you must stick up for that. People will use you for your weakness and manipulate you. They will persuade you on your beliefs if you do not stick up for them.

The Funny Bone: Laugh once in a while! You can not get through this cruel life without having a laugh. Work, life, career, finance, health and other factors can really put some stress on a person. You have to learn how to laugh. You must also laugh at your mistakes and shake it off and move on. Negative vibes can ruin you, your loved ones and people you work with. When you set off negative feelings, people don't want to be around you. Think about it, do you want to be around a person that's constantly negative? Do you want to be around a person who things the world sucks and that everybody sucks? I don't. Live a little and laugh. We are all going to go through some rough times. We're going to hit the bottom at least once in life. However, you will recover. You need to learn how to learn from that mistake and fix it. Once you fix it, I guarantee you'll look back at it and laugh. Laughter is the best cure for everything!

With that in mind, I hope you get inspired somehow. Stay positive. Without hope, strength and enjoyment, you will let this cruel world take over you. Find ways to navigate out of that rut and live life to it's fullest. Life is too short to think about the 'what if's'.

Peace and luv

Taking The Red Pill Or Blue Pill

I often find myself wondering if I made the right decision. From financial matters, relationships, lotto numbers, education and career paths. Why do we start second guessing ourselves once we've committed to such important decisions? I guess once we really get a taste of reality and we want to turn back it seems to be too late.
I've recently started second guessing myself a lot recently. Without airing out too much dirty laundry, I'll try to vent it as much as possible. I've recently inherited a new role where I'm managing a lot of new adventures. That includes work, finance and caring for my elderly mom and aunt. Needless to say I need help but who can I turn to? Pretty much nobody. Its like the pile is growing at an alarming rate and I can't keep up. Though positive thoughts and inspiration keeps me going I have a feeling one day its going to come crashing down. I read and research solutions but then turning to those solutions start make me second guess myself again. I guess it is true when they say life isn't easy. We must look ahead and work at those solutions. There are road blocks everyday but I try to steer away from them and try to find inspiration. Life isn't what it was 10 years ago. I guess adjusting and tackling issues is the only way to get by nowadays. Like Rev Run says, don't look back. The windshield is always bigger than the rear view mirror.

RearViewMirror

"Stop fretting about the past! Don't look back ppl! (rememba!) The windshield will always be bigger than da rear view mirror!" Rev Run


We find ourselves holding grudges or dwelling on events from the past. Harboring negative emotions or not solving your issue can be unhealthy and taint your quality of life. If you have issues, there is nothing preventing you from fixing it. The only thing that prevents you from fixing it is yourself or your lack of motivation. Having a lack of motivation get the best of you can lead you to worse situations.
Holding grudges against other people can be emotionally draining. Isn't life too short to hold these grudges. Yes, we run into people everyday that can piss you off. However, you have to be the bigger person and shake that off and try to understand that person's point of view. Maybe you're not agreeing with their way of thinking so take the time and understand how that person came up with that particular conclusion. Once you look at that, try to rebuild that relationship and move forward. Learn from that and maybe that person you're dissagreeing with will also understand your point of view. Yelling and throwing tantrums do not solve anything. What it does is make you look like a bigger jackass. Use the power of words and things will work out.
Just remember, don't look back. Our lives and dreams always move forward so look straight ahead. You will encounter roadblocks and dissappointments, but you have to learn how to navigate through that road.

Pit Bulls - A True Companion

"A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not." - Marley and Me

Many of you know my dog Peanut. She's loveable, loyal, friendly and fun....and she's a Pit Bull!! When people hear the word pit bull, they tend to cringe. "Why would you get a pit bull?" is a question I'm often asked. "Has she bitten you?", "Has she bitten anybody?", those are some other famous questions. Or often, I see people walking away from her due to fear. It's sad how the media has constructed a bad rap against this breed. Turn on the news and you'll hear about people being mauled by pit bulls. They just love to show kids being bit in the face also. California is trying to pass a law to ban the pit bull breed. Why? Again because of bad media and irresponsible owners. Let me educate you about pit bulls before you past judgement again about the breed:

1. Pit Bulls are commonly used as therapy dogs. Whether they are visiting a senior care facility or helping someone recover from an emotional accident, Pit Bulls are making a mark as outstanding therapy dogs.

2. Pit Bulls are used in Search and Rescue work. One example of well known SAR Pit Bulls is Kris Crawford and her dogs. Kris and her dogs have helped save the lives of many people during their efforts. http://www.ForPitsSake.org

3. Pit Bulls serve as narcotic and bomb sniffing dogs. One Pit Bull, Popsicle (named that because he was found in an old freezer) has the largest recorded single drug find in Texas history. Read more about Popsicle here. Including how he found over 3,000 lbs of cocaine in Hildago, Texas.

4. Pit Bulls are great with kids. They weren't referred to as the "nanny's dog" for nothing that's for sure.

5. Pit Bulls are not human aggressive. The American Pit Bull Terrier as a breed is not human aggressive. In fact, quite the opposite is true of the breed. They are gentle and loving dogs. Like any dog individuals can be unsound and have behavior problems.

6. The Pit Bull was so popular in the early 1900's they were our mascot not only in World War One, but World War Two as well. They were featured on recruiting and propoganda posters during this time period.

7. Sgt. Stubby. A Pit Bull war hero. Stubby was wounded in action twice, he saved his entire platoon by warning them of a poison gas attack and he single handedly captured a German spy.

8. Pete the Pup on the orginal Little Rascals was a Pit Bull.

9. Pit Bulls score an 83.4% passing rate with the American Temperament Test Society. That's better than the popular Border Collie (a breed who scores 79.6%). View the ATTS stats here.

10. They are dogs not killing machines.

I know that some of the people out there are still not convinced. You can't blame stupidity I guess.

No matter what people say or think, I believe I have one of the greatest dogs in the world. Peanut brings fun and joy in our lives. She always knows when we are down and tends to always bring smiles to me and my wife. Not only does she bring joy to us, but also to our other family members and friends. Peanut is a young pup. She has a lot to learn. One day she'll be CGC (Canine Good Citizen) certified with the UKC (United Kennel Club). My goal is to have her become a therapy dog and a good abassador of the breed.
Peanut was rescued by my wife and I back in March of 2009 from the Los Angeles Harbor Animal Shelter. When my wife seen her, she immediatly fell in love. I will admit that I didn't. I didn't want a big dog, yet alone a pit bull. Yes I was misinformed too. After we adopted her, she grew on me immediatly. The first week was stressful. We had to get used to dog proofing the house and the socialization between Peanut and Coco (our cat) was pretty bad. Coco doesn't like Peanut. We thought it would be the other way around, but in this situation, Coco is the agressor (old man cat!!). After resucing her and learning to live with her, life was great. She's easily trainable and loves to just play!! We enjoy walks and playing tug-o-war and fetch. She still needs to work on her drop-toy command :-p. Overall she's a great dog. I can't imagine life without her now. I love taking her with me when I have to run errands and our monthly visit to the pet shop.
Even though there are some people that are scared of her, there are a ton of people who LOVE HER!! When we're crusing in my car and her head is sticking out, I gaurentee that there's somebody waving or calling her. When we go to the dog beach people always approach her and she lets them pet her. We always get compliments on how a pretty dog she is.
I think there is hope for this breed. It just takes some education and responsible owners to help spread the word about how great pit bulls can be. Take your time and read up on them. Then come and visit Peanut and me and I'll show you how great of an animal they are.

RIP - Jacob

“Death takes the good, too good to stay, And leaves the bad, too bad to take away”

LONG BEACH - A Poly High student, who relatives said hoped to move away from his crime-plagued neighborhood in the Central Area, was killed and his female companion suffered a minor wound in a shooting early Tuesday morning.

Jacob Benavidez, 15, who was a sophomore last year, died shortly after he was taken to a local hospital with multiple shots to the torso.

The woman, who was visiting from out of town and whom police did not identify for her safety, was treated and released.

She was grazed in the torso by a bullet, according to her grandmother, who did not offer her name.

Police say at about 12:30 a.m. a male suspect walked up to the victims, who were chatting on a stoop off a driveway on the 1100

Police are investigating whether the shooting was gang-related.

By mid-morning after the shooting, a makeshift memorial has been set up outside the apartment where Benavidez was slain. A handful of flowers and candles were arranged, with cigarettes placed in the petals of some of the flowers, for Jacob. Amid the flowers was a picture taken New Year's Eve of Benavidez with two friends, including his best friend, Jesus Martin Cosio.

"He was one of the best guys in the world, man," Cosio said as he puffed on a cigarette.

The friend scoffed at the notion of Benavidez having gang ties.

"Nah, he was just a little white

dude," Cosio said with a laugh.

"He was a nice boy, he didn't gang bang, he just got shot," said Nieves Murillo, a step-cousin, as she stood with a small knot of family and friends near the memorial.

When asked if Benavidez had trouble with any person or group, Cosio joked, "Then only person he had a beef with was me. He owed me $10."

While Cosio may have been hiding his pain with humor, the mood in the neighborhood was somber.

A young man who purportedly held Benavidez as he lay dying on the sidewalk chose not to talk to a reporter. Others among a gathering of young men across the street from the memorial were similarly silent and dour.

Family members said Benavidez parents were grieving and unavailable for comment.

Murillo made an impassioned plea for the city to install more lights and even cameras to stem the violence in the neighborhood that is just a block northeast of Ernest McBride Park and Poly High.

She said Larry Green, killed in October 2008 in front of a liquor store just a block away on Alamitos Avenue, was a cousin of Benavidez.

Long Beach police confirmed Green and Benavidez were related but said the shootings did not appear connected. The Green shooting remains unsolved.

The violence drove Murillo to move to Orange County, although she grew up in Long Beach and still has most of her family in the neighborhood.

"I worry about my family and their lives," Murillo said. "Someone needs to make them stop the shootings and the violence and the killings," Murillo said. "I didn't want to raise my kids to be in this neighborhood, and I want to move my dad out really bad, I just don't have the money."

Neighbors and family described Benavidez as a friendly, playful young man.

"He would come in my dad's house every day," Murillo said.

When asked what she would remember of Benavidez, Murillo said "Happy stuff is what I remember. Now, we have pictures of him and memories, that's all we have."

Anyone with information is asked to call the homicide detail at 562-570-7244.

greg.mellen@presstelegram.com, 562-499-1291